Your Goals Shape Your Identity

Don't buy the myth that your identity is shaped by your past. It's actually shaped by your future goals.

Yes, past events can shape us. But they shape us only when we create reactive goals in response to them.

If a girl you had a crush on in middle school told you she didn't like you, that may shape you for years. And here’s the distinction: The way that event shapes you is entirely dependent on the future-oriented goal you create from that event.

Maybe you create the goal: "I need to be attractive and desirable." Then you might obsess on health and your physical appearance. Or becoming funny and charming.

Maybe you react to that event by creating the goal: "I never want to feel unwanted again." And then you form codependent relationships. Or focus on being an expert in a field and essential at your workplace to feel needed by others.

It wasn't the past event itself that shaped you. It was the goal you created in reaction to the event.

What is the goal that is driving your thoughts and behaviors?

Once you become aware of that goal, then you can notice all the ways it is shaping your thoughts, feelings and actions.

If that goal is no longer serving you, the next step is to forgive it.

Don't fight it, but have compassion and understanding for it. That goal was trying to keep you safe, good and loved. Thank that part of you. It did it's job. Now you can help retire it.

Now: What goal do you want to be shaped by instead?

Who do you want to be in 5 years? In one year, or one week?

Let that goal begin to shape you. Begin to be led by that goal now!

"I am deeply loved by God, my family and friends."

"I am incredibly attractive, valued and enough just the way I am and I enjoy growing everyday."

Typically, it will take some time. Both to release the old goal and to incorporate the new goal into the deepest levels of your Being.

The awareness of the old goal is the first step. Notice it. Love and accept it every time you notice it. And you may begin to notice it 8,000 times a day. It may have shaped how you do almost everything in your life.

Remind that goal that it's no longer needed, and proclaim again what your new goal - your new identity - really is. Speak it out loud! Pray it. And in this way, pray without ceasing.

You are not shaped by your past. You are shaped by your goals for the future.

What goal is driving your thoughts, feelings and actions? Is it working for you or not?

Accept and forgive goals that need to be retired. And step into the new goal that you want to be shaped by.