You Don’t See the World As It Is, You See the World As You Are.
Our beliefs form our lens that we look through at the world. The tricky thing is that it doesn't feel like we're looking through a lens! It feels like we are seeing reality objectively.
But you can change your lens. And when you do, reality seems to change! You see things completely differently and new thoughts, feelings, actions and opportunities become available to you.
I also like the metaphor of a radio. When you are tuned to the R&B station, that music is all you can hear. Bass and drums fill the room. But all the other radio stations are present in the room as well! Their wavelengths are just as present and available. You just aren't tuned to them.
When you turn the dial to the classical music station, now violins and brass horns fill the room. Both stations - both realities - were present in the room the whole time. The only thing that changed is what you were tuned to.
Our beliefs can feel so real, so solid. Like it's not a belief, it's just a fact.
Until we become aware of them and examine them.
For example, if you have an unconscious belief that "Consistency is boring," then you will shape your life around pursuing the thrill and excitement of novelty and drama. You will abandon anything that starts to become consistent. Why? Because consistency is boring.
It will not even feel like a choice - it will be automatic. Because the belief feels like a fact of reality, and not a decision you are consciously making.
It's fine to believe that consistency is boring. Until that belief begins to get in the way of what you want.
Maybe you want to stop abandoning relationships when they get consistent and stable. Maybe you keep jumping to new ideas and projects when you know you need to stay with one project to get it to the next level.
Now your unconscious belief is working against you.
So how do you change something that feels so real, so factual?
"But consistency IS boring! That's just the truth! I've seen it, I've felt it, I've done it!"
Yes, that's how reality will always seem as long as you are tuned to that station (or looking through that lens).
The path to freedom from that belief starts with revealing that your belief is simply a belief. It's not Reality, but a way of looking at reality.
Start by questioning the belief: Is my belief universally true? What are examples of the opposite of my belief? Do some people believe something different from me? What evidence can I find to support the opposite of my belief?
Get in touch with how the belief is holding you back. What would be possible if you didn't have this belief? How would you feel, think or act if you believed the opposite?
Decide what new belief you would like to step into. What do I need to believe to become the person I want to be? This will not always be the inverse of the old belief. It's more nuanced and tailored to what you specifically want and need.
For example, if the belief "Consistency is boring" is holding you back in work and relationships, you might get in tune with who you want to become instead and replace that old belief with the new belief of, "I love the thrill and excitement of commitment and going deep in my relationships and projects." It must be a belief that makes your True Self, your soul, hum like a tuning fork that has found the resonance and alignment it longs for.
Then proclaim that new belief every day. Maybe 100 times a day as you notice the old belief in your thoughts and feelings and actions. Speak it to yourself. Speak it out loud. Write it down as you journal. Language is one of our most powerful tools for re-programming our subconscious, our Being.
It's helpful to know at the outset that changing a deeply held belief can take time, energy and commitment. The more central the old belief was to your life, the more likely it has shaped many areas of your life.
Your old belief has likely shaped your relationships - you may have to have tough conversations with people to let them know how you operate now. It may have shaped your habits and routines - you may have to find new habits that don't undermine the new belief you're living into. The old belief may have shaped your goals - you may want to reevaluate what you're working towards in work and life.
The deeper the old belief, the more it will have shaped in your life. Be patient and compassionate towards yourself as you live into a new Being with new beliefs. At times you will feel like a toddler learning to walk, flexing new muscles that have never been used before. Growth is usually two steps forward, one step back. You'll ask yourself, "Is this worth it? It was effortless to operate out of my old belief!" Your False Self will long for the comfort of the old belief - after all, the old belief was part of what shaped your False Self, your ego. But as you stay in tune to your True Self, you will feel the joy of becoming more of who you want to be.
Until one day when your new belief becomes your new default mode of Being. And you'll be looking back on your old belief the way you look at pictures of yourself from 15 years ago, thinking, "Wow, I can't believe I ever thought that belief looked good on me."