Why Humble People Struggle to Sell

There are two versions of humility. One will ruin your business.

I was talking with a business owner who had been getting better at sales calls. She was more clear. More effective. For the first time in a long time, she noticed herself feeling confident.

And then she immediately distrusted it.

Confidence felt foreign in her body. Maybe dangerous. It reminded her of an old boss she had no desire to become - someone arrogant, incapable of admitting fault. Somewhere along the way, she had created a binary: you can be confident or you can be humble, but not both.

She wanted to be humble, so she chose smallness.

As we explored it together, she realized she had confused humility with self-minimization. And confidence with arrogance or inability to see your own faults.

But that’s not real confidence - that’s delusion. And this business owner was very self-aware.

As we explored this we found that both confidence and humility are two sides of the same coin: the coin of accurate self-perception.

Confidence is accurate self-perception. It's the ability to say, "I know what I can do. I know the value I create. I believe this can help people. I trust the experience I've earned."

Humility (real humility) is also accurate self-perception. It's saying, "I don't know everything. I can still learn. I might be wrong. I'm not better than anyone else."

She felt grossed out by confidence without humility. And now, she’s learning to be grossed out by humility without confidence, too :)

The goal isn't to choose between the two. It's to tell the truth. To stand fully in the gifts you've been given without making yourself the center of the universe.

The most grounded people I've met don't think less of themselves. They simply think of themselves accurately - and then get on with the work of serving others.